I love weddings.
You know, when love is in the air,
you can almost reach out and touch it.
Yeah, and sometimes it hits back.
Tess!
Well, not all love is as pure as ours,
Miss Wings.
Have you heard that expression that love is blind?
Mm-hmm.
Well, sometimes it's stupid, too.
( Cooing )
Hi, I'm Gale H. Harper. Hi.
And, uh, well, this is my girlfriend Dolores,
but don't say anything to the bride,
because, well, I wouldn't want her to get jealous.
Where is Wendy?
Well, the bride and groom
have already gone up to the lodge
to get ready for the ceremony.
Oh. Porter!
PORTER: Yes, sir.
MONICA: I thought this was a day trip.
It is, but you would be surprised
at the baggage that people carry around with them,
especially the kind you can't see.
And half the time, it's filled with the past,
and looking inside can be the most frightening thing
that a person ever does.
Keep the change.
MAN: Thank you, sir.
Well, lookie here, Mark Monfort!
Gale.
How long's it been? What, six years?
I can't believe you made it all the way from... Tanzania?
Pakistan.
Right, right, some backward foreign place.
Yeah, right. Excuse me one second.
Well, it was good to see ya.
We'll talk later!
We used to be best friends in law school.
Yeah.
Hi, I'm, uh, here for the wedding.
TESS: Hello. Monfort.
Mark Monfort. Yes, welcome.
Thank you.
The train will be leaving in about 15 minutes.
Great. Thanks.
Pakistan.
He did come a long way.
Oh, he's not here just for the wedding.
Mark is on a mission to correct a terrible wrong.
Ah, and that's where I come in.
You make sure he rights the right wrong.
You understand me?
Gotcha.
( Train whistle blows )
TESS: There's Susan... the old girlfriend.
The one that got away.
TESS: Mm. He's on the wrong track already.
♫ When you walk ♫
♫ Down the road ♫
♫ Heavy burden ♫
♫ Heavy load ♫
♫ I will rise ♫
♫ And I will walk with you ♫
♫ I'll walk with you ♫
♫ Till the sun don't even shine ♫
♫ Walk with you ♫
♫ Every time ♫
♫ I tell you, I'll walk with you ♫
♫ Walk with you ♫
♫ Believe me, I'll walk with you. ♫
MAN: You takin' lessons or something?
How are you?
Better now.
Well, good.
Let's go.
Well, hello. Welcome.
Can I get your name?
Susan Duplain.
Great.
Um, hors d'oeuvres and the bar are up ahead
in the Sweetheart Car.
There's a band in the Cherish Car,
and there's a lounge right down at the very end
in the Happy-Ever-After Caboose.
( laughs )
I would not go through this for anybody other than Wendy.
Believe it or not, this is the wedding she always wanted...
Trains, trees and a lodge.
30-degree temperatures.
Didn't she ever hear of a June wedding?
( Whistle blowing )
Hey, hey!
Does your mama know you have all of that?
You save some for somebody else.
Mm-mmm.
You know, it all started
when I tripped on a roller skate at my uncle's house.
Sued his pants off,
and now I am the number one personal injury lawyer
this side of the Mississippi.
That's great, Gale, I guess.
Oh, you're darn right it's great.
I got ads running all over the tube.
I got 30-second spots running in every major market
in the Pacific Northwest.
Oh, look, there's George.
Oh.
Hey, hey, how's this for my slogan?
Call Gale H. Harper.
It can't hurt any worse than this.
Wow. Thank you for that.
So is there a Mr. Susan?
No. I never met the right guy.
Actually, I did,
but he moved to the other side of the world.
So, is there a Mrs. Mark?
No. My life's been mostly business
for the last six years.
I haven't been in a serious relationship in a long time.
WOMAN: Hey, cutie!
Lisa. Hi.
Hey. Still gorgeous as ever, I see.
Same to you. Oh, yeah.
Susie, you have to help me
with this clip thing for my vest.
I look like a hippopotamus.
SUSIE: Oh, you don't, Lisa. You look great.
You're gonna be a beautiful maid of honor.
Excuse me. Do you know anything about computers?
I know a thing or two.
I'm having a terrible time with my computer.
It has the itinerary and the guest list
and everything on it.
All of a sudden, I can't get into it.
Well, let's sit down someplace and have a look. Thank you.
Okay, let's see what we got here.
I really appreciate this.
I'm just no good with computers.
( Computer beeps )
WOMAN: I'm just no good with computers.
This is the first time I've had to take a test on one.
No, it's pretty simple. Just, uh, sit down.
Type in your password.
Go ahead. I won't look.
Wow.
Pretty impressive, huh?
Okay, you want to take an exam, so type "3."
And you want to take
your first year contract exam, right? Right.
I'm not even ready for that test.
Why are you taking it?
I just don't have anything better to do than study.
Oh, well, maybe I can help you with that, too.
Hi. Doug Richards. Don't worry about the test.
It's a breeze. I blew through it in about an hour.
No way.
Yeah, but I like tests.
You could be very valuable.
Some girlfriends of mine are starting a study group.
You guys want to be in it?
Sure.
I'll be in it. How ya doin'? Gale h. Harper.
MONICA: Thank you.
Isn't that amazing?
I have to log the wedding gifts.
What do you think I should call this?
Returnable.
( Chuckles )
Look at this. I practically got steam coming out of my mouth,
and we haven't left the station yet.
By the time we get to the mountains,
the cake is gonna be frozen.
You go to a lot of weddings up in Kathmandu? Pakistan.
LISA: I want it up.
Everybody else has their hair up.
Oh.
LISA: You did it. Thank you so much.
( Indistinct chattering )
LISA: Like a Juliet sort of a thing, goes around...
What are the odds of all the people from our study group
getting married to each other?
Really bad if you think Wendy's gonna marry you.
Oh, and why is that?
You went on one date. She forgot your name.
Oh, like that never happened to you guys?
Come on, Dougie. You're supposed to back me up here.
I've got a theory.
Some people were just made for each other.
Yes.
I can't believe that you and Susan never got married,
but then Wendy and I drifted apart, too.
Huh. So where is Doug?
What?
I've seen Lisa, but where is Doug?
You mean you didn't hear? You don't know?
What?
Don't tell me they got divorced.
Doug's dead.
What?
Yeah, it was a real shock. He was...
Lisa!
You look terrific.
How's work?
Uh, busy. My dad's law firm.
What's the matter with you guys?
Lisa, I just heard about Doug.
Yeah. It's been six years, but, um...
( voice breaking ): I guess... not long enough.
Excuse me.
Are you okay?
How'd it happen?
Doug committed suicide.
Suicide? Oh, man.
I am so sorry.
I thought you knew.
Lisa found him in his dorm room.
He hanged himself on graduation day,
and she's never been the same since.
They never even got married?
You'd already left for that job in Europe.
Didn't you get my letter?
Oh, I can't believe it.
Yeah, apparently,
he cheated his whole way through law school,
and then he got caught.
We don't know that, Gale.
But we do know that Doug was our friend.
To Doug.
How am I supposed to sing happy songs
about love and marriage
with all this deception going on?
Looking at them like this, it's hard to believe.
Well, believe it,
because evil is just around the next bend.
MAN: All aboard!
( Whistle blowing )
( bell clanging )
( whistle blows )
Are you okay?
Oh, I still can't believe it. He wasn't a cheater.
Well, he plagiarized his last exam, and he got caught.
What would you call it?
Oh, come on.
Let's not talk about it now.
This is supposed to be a happy occasion.
MONICA: Welcome.
Hello.
WOMAN: Hello.
MONICA: Welcome.
Go on inside. You can sit anywhere.
It's not formal.
Hi.
GALE ( whispering ): Psst. Hey!
( Organ playing hymn )
( strings playing Pachelbel's "Canon in D" )
( camera shutter clicking )
Where is he? This is killing me.
Those interviews are tough.
He probably met someone, needed to unwind.
Gale's available, though.
So, Wendy, babe, you playing our song?
No. I, uh, actually, I don't see
"get out of my face, you nightmarish cretin"
anywhere.
( Up-tempo music playing )
By Friday, you or Doug will have a job
at the U.S. Attorney's Office.
No offense, Susie, but I really hope that Doug gets this.
He's been wanting it so badly,
and I'll get away from my dad's criminal practice,
and we will live happily ever after on the Honeybunny.
On what?
That's the boat Doug's
always dreamed of having.
"Honeybunny"?
Yup. He calls me that sometimes.
He names everything after me. His car is called "Lisa."
Ooh. I'm not sure naming that old clunker after you
is such a compliment.
Lisa. Hey!
What happened?
Don't tell me.
Tell me.
I got the job!
( Gasps ): Yes!
Whoa! All right!
GALE: All right! Way to go.
I'm sorry, Susan.
Don't. Nobody deserves it more than you, Doug, not even me.
Drinks are on me, but I can only afford beer, okay?
A toast to Doug Richards!
May he rise from shaking the taste
of lowly law students
to shaping the course of a nation!
( Applause )
( organ playing "Wedding March" )
TESS: ♫ Make him smile... ♫
Over here.
♫ This man I love with... ♫
♫ Fluffy puppies ♫
♫ That's his style ♫
♫ This man I love with ♫
♫ He brings joy ♫
♫ To every day ♫
♫ Our nights of love ♫
♫ Are filled with play ♫
♫ He is love ♫
♫ In every way ♫
♫ I've found my home... ♫
Do you like to dance?
You're asking, I'm dancing.
♫ This man I love with... ♫
It must be nice to see everyone again, hmm?
Yeah.
Some more than others.
So when was the last time you saw Susan?
Oh... I guess a week before graduation.
♫ When summer's smoldering... ♫
I was really proud of the way you handled that.
What?
I know how much you wanted that job.
When I interviewed for the job,
they told me I was a contender,
but I really was hoping I wouldn't get it.
The problem with being a U.S. attorney
is that you have to work in the U.S.
Well, what do you mean?
Well, I was thinking
since you're gonna be working in Europe,
maybe I should look into international law firms, too.
Uh...
Um...
Never mind. I, uh... Forget it.
I didn't say that.
This is embarrassing.
No, it's just that, uh,
you know, I thought you wanted to be a judge.
Don't you want to...
Uh... no.
The truth is,
I am not ready.
You know what? If we don't...
if we don't just end it, it'll get ugly,
so let's just say it's over,
and it was beautiful while it lasted
and I'll never forget you.
And maybe someday...
May I cut in?
I've always wanted to say that.
Of course.
Oh, there's one left. I'm gonna take care of this one.
Mmm-mmm-mmm!
There has got to be one meatball left
in this wilderness,
and you are gonna find it for me.
That boy.
I mean, it's right there on the screen.
"Hi. I'm Gale H. Harper. I'm Gale." I say that.
"I'm Gale." And they still call up looking for a woman.
It's no wonder these people get in accidents.
I heard there was a slip and a fall in the kitchen.
I think it's whiplash.
Excuse me, won't you?
Whew. Thank you.
( Chuckles )
Mark and Susan sure do have a lot of chemistry.
Well, one chemical by itself can be harmless,
but you mix them together, and they can be deadly.
So you keep your eye on them
and someone who is not on the guest list.
You really ought to make that trip to Europe someday.
This time I promise...
Mark, I've been nominated to the federal bench.
You did it? Congratulations.
Next stop, Supreme Court.
Thanks.
I feel a little sad about it, though.
Every break I got came from the job
Doug was supposed to have.
No. They had to replace him with somebody.
Susan, they couldn't have picked a better person.
Thanks. You always were my biggest fan.
I still am.
You must be the uninvited guest
I've been expecting.
I'm Monica. I'm Andrew.
Angel of Death?
At your service.
( Birds chirping )
Sorry I'm late.
I had to escort Mrs. Arnsdorff.
She's 92, and she still wanted to hang around to see
her great-great granddaughter being born.
TESS: Hello, Mr. Halo!
( laughing )
Where you been?
Oh, you know, here, there, everywhere.
Oh! ( Makes kissing sound ) Have you met Monica?
Oh. Oh! Yeah. Tess tells me that you're the best.
She does?
Oh, yeah, she tells me about all of her trainees.
You do?
And how is my angel boy?
Oh, good.
I want to tell you, you are looking good!
Now, baby, you know that you're the one
who looks good.
Come on, baby. We got work to do.
All right.
I'm so glad to see you!
Good to see you, honey.
This song is for my friend Andy.
( Piano playing introduction to "The Rose" )
♫ Some say love ♫
♫ It is a river ♫
♫ That drowns ♫
♫ The tender reed ♫
♫ Some say love ♫
♫ It is a razor ♫
♫ That leaves ♫
♫ Your soul to bleed ♫
♫ Some say love ♫
♫ It is a hunger ♫
♫ An endless ♫
♫ Aching need ♫
♫ I say love ♫
♫ It is a flower ♫
♫ And you ♫
♫ The only seed ♫
♫ It's the heart ♫
♫ Afraid of breaking ♫
♫ That never, never really learns... ♫
Hello.
I'm Monica.
He was my fiancé.
He was the greatest,
sweetest, kindest, smartest guy.
He killed himself. Did you know that?
I'm so sorry.
Everybody thinks that... he cheated.
You know, that's all they remember,
that he was a cheater.
But he wasn't.
He was not.
Is that what Doug said in the note?
Yeah. How'd you know about that note?
The note? From Doug.
Yes, that's the one.
Yeah.
Anyway, I keep it with me all the time.
It's right here.
It's the only thing I have left.
You know, he could have gone all the way.
He had... he had the... the guts,
he had the brains, he had the heart
to go all the way to the Supreme Court.
Lisa.
Look at me. I'm sorry.
I'm-I'm really sorry.
There's no need to be sorry.
But you are a bit mussed up.
MARK: Lisa!
Lisa, you okay?
I loved him so much.
( Crying ): I really did.
Lisa, Lisa, honey, come on. Let's go get you cleaned up.
Thank you.
Come on.
( Sighs )
I'm afraid she's had a hard time.
She told me.
This is a... a difficult letter to read.
I suggest you skip to the third paragraph.
"I've lost more than my law degree and my job."
"I've lost my reputation, and worse,"
"I've lost the only thing I know I was born to do..."
"be a fair and honest judge."
"How could you live with a man branded as a cheat?
"How could I live with you
"watching me grow more and more bitter?
"Just remember, I'm innocent.
"Computers don't lie, but somehow that one did.
"But I can't prove it."
"I love you."
"Good-bye. Doug."
Doug was meant to be a judge,
and he would have made a fine and good judge
just as he was a fine and good man,
but all that was stolen from him.
Do you remember the final exam, Mark?
Yeah.
That was the last time I saw Susan.
( Banging on keyboard )
( beeping )
( typing )
( beeping )
( continues banging on keyboard )
( beeping continues )
( sighs )
What's the matter?
I don't know what I did.
I pressed something wrong, and it shut me out of the test.
Were you finished?
No. I had about a half an hour left on my time.
This is my final.
Half my grade depends on this.
I'm gonna fail.
No, you're not.
Reboot your terminal.
I'll get you back in through the safeguards.
But that's cheating.
( Sighs )
Technically, maybe.
Look, I can get you back in.
What you put in the exam is up to you.
I'm just giving you the chance.
Nobody's gonna know.
( Computer beeps )
( beeps )
Thank you so much.
You don't know what this means to me.
Okay.
You're all set.
( Sighs )
I gotta go pack.
I leave in a couple hours.
Um, drop me a line.
Tell me how graduation goes.
Sure.
Is that all you can remember?
Yeah. It was a pretty messy way to say good-bye.
You felt guilty
about not asking her to go to Europe with you.
Yeah. Guilty enough to help her cheat?
It wasn't cheating.
Well, I mean, sort of.
I'm not proud of it,
but it's not like I gave her the answers.
You gave her something much worse...
Time and access to the computer system.
To finish her test.
She had time left.
Running into her that day wasn't an accident, Mark.
She knew you'd be there taking your test,
feeling guilty about her and ready to be used.
What?
Remember what Doug's letter said?
"Computers don't lie."
Think about it.
( Computer beeps )
Thank you so much.
You don't know what this means to me.
Okay.
You're all set.
( Sighs )
I gotta go pack.
I leave in a couple hours.
Um, drop me a line.
Tell me how graduation goes.
Sure.
( Sobs )
Wait a second. I didn't see that.
How can I be seeing that now?
What's going on here?
Mark, don't be afraid.
I've been sent here to help you see the truth.
Sent here?
I'm an angel sent by God.
Are you crazy?
Doug didn't cheat.
Susan used Doug's password to get back into his exam
and insert plagiarized material
that his professor was sure to catch.
That's ridiculous!
Doug had the job that Susan wanted,
and she used you to take it away from him.
No way. She loved me.
She wanted to marry me, and I hurt her.
That's what she wanted you to think.
And when she was finished using you,
she knew exactly how to scare you
into running away and out of her life.
Lady, you could not be more wrong,
and I don't know who you are,
but this is nuts.
Your friend took his life because of her.
God just wants you to see how dangerous Susan is.
I want you to back off! And stay away from me.
This wedding's over. I got a train to catch.
( Train chugging )
( whistle blows, bell clangs )
All these years.
Mark has been blaming himself for hurting Susan,
when it was Susan who hurt him.
I hope I can get through to him.
Well, you'd better. His life depends on it.
I've been looking for you.
Doug killed himself because somebody got into the computer
and altered his test.
Who told you that?
I was there, Susan, remember?
I helped you do it.
He was our friend. He was my best friend.
I'm so sorry.
Ohh.
I had no idea he would do something like that.
Oh, Mark, please. I was desperate.
I felt like my whole life was falling apart...
The job, you.
( Whistle blows )
I was feeling like
I was starting to lose everything,
everything that was important in my life.
I don't know. I guess I just went crazy.
When I found out that Doug...
I almost followed in Doug's footsteps.
When I-I...
When I...
When I realized that I was the cause of his death, I...
I didn't want to go on.
Oh, Mark.
Please.
Oh, please.
Please forgive me.
Oh, Susan.
Susan, it's okay.
Monica.
Listen, I handled a near miss a couple of weeks ago,
and I found out something
that might make all this a lot easier for you.
I'm doing just fine by myself, thank you.
Did we get off on the wrong track here?
Look, I'm just trying to help you.
You know, my first couple years as a caseworker
were pretty rough, too.
I may be a rookie,
but I'm certainly not incompetent.
( Whistle blows )
Tess...
Don't you "Tess" me. Andy is my friend.
Obviously.
Oh, is that it?
You thought you were the only angel in the universe?
No, I didn't.
You know I love you,
and you know I'm proud of you.
And I love Andy, too.
Love is like air.
There's plenty of it to go around for everybody.
I know that,
but Andrew keeps telling me how to handle my assignments.
Sweetheart, we're all on the same team,
trying to win the game together.
Don't you forget who's calling the plays for all of us.
Andrew?
I just wanted to say
that my pride got the best of me,
and I apologize.
It's okay.
You know, Tess taught me
a whole lot about pride, too, so...
but I can help you, and so can he.
Just go ask him about his most recent case,
and I'll do the rest.
Hello, Gale.
Been looking everywhere for you.
You have?
( whistle blowing )
How utterly enlightening.
And you know me. That's just the way I handle things.
It's a gift.
Mark.
I'm busy.
Susan? Susan!
Oh, my, my, my. How are you?
( Makes kissing sound )
How are you, huh?
Do... do I know you?
No, no, but we have so many friends in common,
we should catch up, over here, maybe. Come on, come on.
Excuse us.
Gale, why don't you tell Mark the story you just told me?
I just told that story.
Ah, but you tell it so well.
Oh. Okay.
This is all strictly confidential, of course,
so don't tell anybody. Case I'm handling now...
Brilliant lawyer, nominee for the federal bench.
He's a lock for the job.
Then he gets caught up in some kind of a weird scandal.
He has a spotless record,
yet he is totally, totally discredited.
So, he tries to kill himself
by driving down a residential street
at 120 miles an hour and slamming into a tree.
Now the future judge doesn't quite make it,
and his latest mailing address is vegetable city.
When did this happen?
A couple of weeks ago.
So, anyway, this guy, he's...
Are you sure it was the federal bench?
Yeah, yeah, I am, but the story's not about him.
It's about me.
So, now, here is the interesting part.
My client, he...
Another life ruined.
So it wasn't just a one-time thing with Susan, Mark.
You weren't the first choice for that appointment, were you?
The first choice just happened to get his reputation ruined.
I want some answers.
He was crooked.
Like Doug was crooked?
You've been manipulating people your whole life
to get what you want, Susan.
What do you care how I get there?
The important thing is, once I'm there,
there's plenty for both of us.
Think about it.
( Exhales deeply )
Lisa?
I lost it.
Lost what?
The letter.
Doug wrote me a letter...
You know, I just don't understand what happened.
I mean, I know he was devastated,
but why didn't he come to me?
We could have handled it together.
We could have handled anything together.
But he didn't come to me. He just ended everything...
Not just his life but... our life.
No. What are you talking about?
You moved on.
You've got your law practice.
There is no law practice.
I didn't even take the bar.
I couldn't.
You don't run your father's firm?
I'm a secretary, Mark.
I run for coffee.
Oh, Lise.
There's a lot of people who care about you, Lisa,
including me.
And I know how much Doug loved you
and how devastated he would be
if he saw you like this.
( Bell clanging )
Be right back, okay?
( Whistle blows )
Do you believe me now?
Where did you come from?
If you won't listen to an angel,
then listen to Lisa.
She's living proof of the nightmare caused by Susan.
An angel? You weren't kidding.
Why didn't an angel stop Doug from killing himself, huh?
Why didn't an angel stop me from killing Doug?
Mark, you didn't kill Doug.
I helped Susan do this.
I helped her destroy Doug's life
and Lisa's in the process.
I'm just as guilty as she is.
No, the only thing you're guilty of
is trusting someone who didn't deserve it.
( Sighs )
Human beings have the power to make choices,
and some of the worst choices are made in darkness.
You made one there. So did Doug.
( Sighs, then sniffles )
I wrote him letters.
All these years, I wrote him letters
from England, Germany, Tashkent, Pakistan.
I sent them to his parents.
I never figured he'd write back.
I was always travelling.
I wrote about such stupid stuff.
"The weather was bad."
"Work is good."
"How are the Mariners doin'?"
But it just felt good
to know that I was sitting alone
the other side of the world,
talking to my best friend.
Except I wasn't.
He was closer than you knew.
You have a responsibility now to Doug, you know,
and to all the lives this woman could destroy
should she remain a judge.
I don't know.
You came back today to right a wrong, didn't you?
Yeah. I came to finally do the right thing by Susan.
Well, you're here to do right by Doug, too,
in more ways than you know.
You know in your heart
what the right choice to make is, Mark.
Don't be blinded by what you've mistaken for love.
Hi.
We need to talk.
I was crazy to think I could tempt Mr. Clean.
You were always way too honorable.
It's one of the things I loved about you.
You're right, of course.
I don't deserve the bench, and I won't take it.
I will ask one favour of you...
That you will allow me to back out quietly
so that I can save whatever reputation I have left.
Oh, is that right? What about Doug, huh?
What about his reputation?
Doug's disgrace killed him, Susan. Well, you know what?
You're just gonna have to live with yours,
and I'm gonna see to it. Good-bye.
Good-bye, Mark.
( Sharp groan )
( grunts ) ( cries out )
( grunting )
( screams )
No! Help me!
Please!
( Crying )
( screaming )
No... no, please!
MONICA: You know in your heart,
what the right choice to make is, Mark.
Mark!
Please don't drop me.
How horrible. Are you all right?
I'm fine. I'm just fine.
Just get in the front of the car
and expect trouble when we get off.
Don't threaten me, you weak little man.
I'm gonna bury you.
You're gonna be back working at the gas station
just like the day I met you.
You'll never be anything, 'cause you don't have the guts.
I've got guts enough to make sure
you don't get in a position of power again.
That's enough.
You were right.
So were you.
Well, it's not going to be pretty,
but the truth is out now, and it'll stay out.
Can you help her?
When she's ready, there'll be an angel there for her.
She's not gonna go down easily.
No, not easily, but it will happen.
Just be strong.
I just wish the truth wasn't too late for Doug.
He was the best guy I knew.
You know, that's what he always said about you, Mark.
God never created anything stronger
than the power of real love.
It lives forever.
And you never know where it's gonna come from next.
( Bell clanging )
Hi.
You have a good heart, Mark.
You should share it with someone who knows how to love.
Thank you.
LISA: You're welcome.
All I said was "hi."
That's enough.
( Whistle blowing )
TESS: Well, Miss Wings,
Did we learn anything here today?
Yes. I learned three things.
Oh, my. This is a grand day. Go on.
If you want to be a judge,
don't go around making up your own laws.
That's one.
Don't go judging the Angel of Death
until he's saved your halo.
Now, that's the two I was thinking of.
What's number three?
If you really, really, really love somebody,
always bring them back some meatballs
from the wedding.
Oh, Miss Wings, I have trained you right!
Don't be shy, baby. Come on. Dig in. Ooh, yes!